Dropping HINTs...

8th IBS
16th Microbes
22nd Patho

Man its gonna be a long long month again. Hopefully I dont turn out cranky like last semester, as some of you people unfortunately found out. I wanna apologize in advance first if I say stupid things, especially the people i normally whine to. Trust me, I'm trying not to :) I tend to be less in a bad mood if people give me food as well. Especially homecooked food. kidding kidding.

i'm so subtle.

Be not afraid to pray; to pray is right;
Pray if thou canst with hope, but ever pray,
Though hope be weak or sick with long delay;
Pray in darkness if there be no light;
And if for any wish thou dare not pray
Then pray for God to cast that wish away

And how did you know?

Firstly, despite how talented one is, reading off a script doesnt really cut as comedy. It's just er.... fake.

And I wonder how do people know when I have never ever said a thing. That's the way it is, i guess. How word spreads, I dont know (and probably wont ever know), but it definitely does spread. Oh well, anyway people will find out tonight. What happened to surprise? hahaha

Do you realise?

It's been a sobering past few nights. To know that there's much much much more that can be improved in my life.

One aspect that I have been guilty of perhaps is that I have not been fervent enough in pushing for the persistence in prayer of the people around me.

A kingdom of priests, and a Holy nation. Where does prayer fit in all of it? Prayer and a holiness go hand in hand. There CANNOT be one without the other. True prayer stirs the hearts of men and plants in us the desire to be holy. God desires us to be holy, and I believe that it is that outflow of Christ's love and holiness in our lives that will touch the people around us.

The power in a prayer of faith. It is the greatest weapon the saints have, and yet often we dont realise the power of it. I confess that I am guilty of that. God delights in hearing our prayers, and I reckon we havent really grasped the extent at which He will go to to answer our prayers. If only we asked!

The bible calls us to 'Ask of Him.' Jesus was not spared that call either (Ps 2) Even as the son of God, he prayed and he asked.

Sometimes we think that prayer and works are totally unrelated. Something I learnt is that prayer is the greatest work! Prayer is no easy task. It requires energy and perseverence. Laziness, haphazardness, unwillingness has nothing to do with it. The aim of all our prayers is to reach the ear of God. And only if we put our heart, mind and soul into it, the HS will help us pray. It is a struggle! Jacob wrestled a WHOLE night for a blessing, and it was worth it. To dwell in the presence of God, it is definitely worth it.







Lastly, prayerful leaders brings forth prayerful followers. I really think there is an additional msg to the C wrt to prayer. The exact details of it, I'm not sure yet. It'll all be clear soon.

Neither

Neither here nor there.

'Stuck in a moment that I cant get out of' sorta feeling. Maybe its just the schoolwork that's always at the back of my head as well.

It's quite a familiar feeling these days. That same old wandering feeling. Am I a Cain, or am I an Abel? Is this life offering the best?? Is it pleasing to Him??

hmmmm

The last few posts didnt really come out.
This post is just to make sure the blog's still working

Bleached Dreams

I must have been more tired than i realised. Is the amount of sleep one person needs proportion to his/her body size? (why isit 'his' always come first??) Yup and I pretty much realised why 8 STRAIGHT hours of sleep is recommended.

Problem is: It's now 4am in the morning.

Had Fungnien's birthday thing just now in the afternoon. It was like animal fest with all that dogs and a single cat. Man... but I was totally out of it. Tired physically maybe mentality as well. The brain totally shut off the body, where I just felt not like moving an extra inch to help people. I felt really really bad. But nevertheless it was good to see everyone again.

Went pass the coastline today. I dont know why, but there's just this intense sense of melancholia when I stare into the sea (hmmm maybe its just the melbourne waters). I could sit and stare at the sea for hours and hours. Now I really want to go down to St Kilda/ Port Melbourne one of these holiday mornings for breakfast.

When I got home, I just plonked onto bed. What time was it? No idea. Maybe around 7ish?? And I just didnt really want to care about anything else, even my books. I tried to study this morning, note the keyword tried. It was totally unproductive! I'm definitely not a muggin machine and i dont know how people can do it.

Had a pleasantly funny dream involving fictional characters from some feudal Japan anime, complete with their flowing robes, the swords, captains and what not. Add a dash of reality with the people i know, and it became really weird/funny. hahaha I was a taichou!

Blessings

I was chatting with my father on msn yesterday (and he still calls msn ICQ).

It's my parents 29th Anniversary today! For the first time in many years, I really felt absolutely happy for them. To really have my eyes be opened and see how God has blessed my family through thick and thin. 29 years of wonderful marriage. Maybe not everyday was bliss, I've seen them quarrel every now and then, but its just wonderful to know that NOT all marriages end up badly in divorce. With all the depressing statistics in the world now, its just good to know that it can be done. It being having a God centred marriage, and it is definitely good to have God in the centre of a relationship.

Congratulations!

Hmmm and i'm quite surprised to hear that my father intepreted for my home church anniversary recently. I remember the days when my father used to serve more actively in church, when he would force us all to wake up earlier to go to church. The days when he put 2 to 3 months worth of preparation into leading a SINGLE session of bible study. Despite all the rants and complaints he often airs in the car on the way back home from church, he still loves GBC.... hahaha

oooh and my family's getting a new car!!! Nissan Slyphy.As usual its a nice little family car.... My dad would always rant on and on about buying a BMW/LEXUS/AUDI/MERCEDES but my mom would just object violently to that hence my dad would give in and we always end up with a nice 'family sedan'. haha not that i'm complaining tho. Now i wish i had a car here in melbourne.... hehz


Yar and i guess my questions have been semisortof answered. The best example of a leader: a sheperd.

A sheperd, who is humble and lowly in terms of human achievements. Yet he leads IN FRONT of his sheep, he goes ahead before the sheep, and he is with the sheep throughout the whole journey. He cares for his sheep more dearly than his own life. He protects them, he loves them, he serves them.

'It was a simple message.'

I like simple messages.

Keeping Up

'Something's missing.....
no I don't know what it is... at all'
Spurs lost again. Its starting to seem all so familiar again. Carrick's passing is sorely missed. Absolutely no creativity at all.

Spent the beautiful morning at the inaugural T Cup. Despite the seemingly unsurmountable odds, we survived on 3 players and escaped the bottom spot! In fact, we held the favourites at bay. Excellent team effort i would say, which resulted in 1 win, 2 draws and 1 lost. Day of the underdog!! It's about enjoying the game and playing beautiful man. yar and I scored (: twice (:

'The things we think might be the same....'
Soccer... Looks like its something that I might have to say farewell to. If C meetings are regularly on saturday mornings. He gives and takes away. There is a time and place for everything :) There are much more valid reasons to push meetings to the morning, as compared to pushing c meetings to another time. hehz well the young vs old match will be my farewell as well... wrt to soccer on saturday mornings. Do I love soccer? yeah maybe i do, more than i realise it in fact.

'She thanks Jesus for the daises and the roses, in no simple language'
It's just pleasantly nice how a simple gesture can cheer up my day (:

'Simple and Clean... '
There's alot on my mind now, but not in a bad, negative way.

Looking at the people interested in PM next year, its gonna be different. It's been a privillege to serve with JM, where we could both share more heart to heart stuff. Next year is gonna be a more working relationship thing, and I dont even know where to start. Spiritual leader? L once called me a 'general/commander' of the 'priests' or 'intercessors'. Am I? Trust me, I'm much as in the dark as most of other people out there. On one hand, there is a need to serve others and lead in humility and example. On the other hand, there is a need to step up to the plate, to stand up for the vision and beliefs, more importantly to stand up for God.

It's all about faith. A stab in the dark. To follow until I cant see His footsteps or the path ahead anymore, when all I can follow is His voice.

And i shall find rest in his presence.

Sudden discoveries

I just realised in 6 days time, I will be alone in PM. I would have become the PS + PC rolled into one until the start of 2007, when the new PC steps up.

Be my strength.

Like pollen & spores

My thoughts are scattered all over the place. Pardon the incoherence, but I think I am really tired, even though I am trying to convince myself that i'm not.

'Your eyebags are really bad...' And opinions from wise friends are definitely worth listening to. From here on anything on this post will be totally random... There will be no continuity in whatever i write.

I'm scared, I weigh 3 times my body.
Right now, I dont even feel like playing tomorrow. Not in the mood? Maybe i'm just tired. But the notion of not having a proper team tomorrow isnt very reassuring and i just feel put off.

I wished either that X or Y was there just now. They would have handled it 10x better than I did. I really tried to help, but apparently i didnt help much. But now I just hope that I didnt really stumble/discourage anyone.

Listening to Z talk about certain problems is just er.... sad in some way. It's one of the last thing i would wanna hear as a C member. What really can I do now to help? Sometimes I wish i really did have the power to make an immediate difference, like a superhero out of a comic. All I can do is just pray that tough times will develop better character.

'I'm just shy that way'
It's funny that how circumstances just turn out to be. I really want God's blessing on this.

'crashed into a rack full of magazines.....'

He Delivers

Sometimes I really ponder about this: If I dream of myself sinning, is that a sin?? Is there some form of control over the subconcious? But even so, He delivers, even when I have no control over the circumstances.

'I called you answered, and you came to my rescue...'

If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. Pr 29:18

And so He left behind a blessing.

Heb 4:4 For somewhere he has spoken about the seventh day in these words: "And on the seventh day God rested from all his work."

The missing ingredient

We are a happy family, albeit a weird one... hahaha
It scares me to think that along the way, there will be MAJOR disagreements and people being unhappy with each other. But what makes a family? Love; sticking with and for each other even though things go really wrong.

I dont know... but I just thank God for putting everyone in their place. When I look around the apartment and just see everyone, even when the 2 chaps are playing winning eleven, I'm just inwardly smiling.

Everyone has their own special role to play and is each one is GIFTED at it, but even so, all of it so interwined that we dont even know it. I think we will really know what it means when it says 'when one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it.' Another take on unity I guess.

Randomness... but swiss food is yum, even though its eaten in a hurry. What's swiss? Rosti, cowbells, fondue, swiss army knives, swiss bank, beer that tastes like water... hahaha

and I can't play guitar game for nuts! I've got a lazy last finger, that refuses to move. or rather i just have bad hand eye coordination.... ha

I'm still waiting for it... the missing ingredient. The step of faith doesnt end at the decision. It begins... and the steps are gonna be bigger and larger, and the road ahead will be even darker and darker until I cant even see where i'm going... and all I have left is to listen and follow, to let Him lead me, to hold on to Him. I cant lead PM myself, the magnitude of it is really too BIG for me to handle alone. But my God is BIG, and there is nothing He cannot do.

Am I making a difference in the people around me?
Or am I just a self centred little selfish kid?

I really dont know. Once again what does it mean to love justice??

Outlet

Another one of those nights where I dont feel like doing anything at all.

Admit that I had a bad game at the pitch. Didnt know why it affected me so bad. Normally I just take it easy, enjoy the game, play simple and beautiful.

Hey I'm human too. I get pissed off with stuff as well... especially myself. And contrary to popular belief, if people irritate me, I just ignore them. I try not to get angry with people, it's not worth my health. If you guys didnt know that, you dont know me well enough.

If I do get infuriated with anything/anyone, it would be myself. I should really stop taking myself so seriously. gah. Yar and if I do reprimand a person, I seriously care for that person. Although I try to be as tactful and grace/love-filled as possible.

Yar, randomness.


Got the first official 'summon'. hehz and i got the privillege of seeing people include the advisors in our conversations. Ice cream anyone? haha

the top 10 mean things to do:

10) Redirect all calls to Dominos Pizza
9) Redirect all calls to someone else
8) Get that someone else to redirect the calls to even someone else
7) Of course the whole point of redirecting is to not pick up the phone calls in the first place
6) sleep at meetings
5) Claim that I'm concentrating very hard when people catch me sleeping
4) appear at potbless meetings and just leave when dinner is over
3) appear with nothing for the above mentioned potblesses
2) play soccer on saturday mornings
1) Blame TMH for dragging me to soccer on saturday mornings when there's meetings

OK OK BEFORE YOU PEOPLE START SHAKING HEADS AND INTEND TO GIVE ME A 2HR LECTURE, let me declare that i'm just JOKING. I'll be a good boy this year. sheeshz

Luckily no one in the new C visits my blog... or so i think... so what are we gonna discuss tmr? haha should I do back up singing... apparently my KTV exploits are being exposed... hmmmm

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

Due to the complaints that the jet black blackground with small font made reading difficult, I've changed it back to the old template. Couldnt be bothered to get a new one. The Tagboard is hence back again.

Yup 9 more days and its time to 'go public'. ha ha ha.

Relationship check? Still walking daily in faith I guess. The whole faith and standing firm thing over the past month's IP still definitely apply, despite the seemingingly 'change of season'. To say that I don't struggle would be a big fat lie. It's a daily self concious decision to not live for myself, to not listen to the sinful nature. Doesnt mean that if i'm a CM, that means I am already there. No one is perfect, as much i would like to be. Everyone's learning.

Few weeks back I mentioned I didnt really like the tag of 'P.S' put onto me. Which causes people to make preconceived notions. BUT on the other hand, if this is what He wants for me, then so be it. The P.S i shall be, and only by His grace and His grace alone, that all will work out.

I should really start to take ownership. Less of me, more of Him. I'm still waiting for something. A vision? a direction? maybe just a word. Be strong and take heart. Wait upon the Lord.

It's true that PM is the engine room for the whole of OCF. But maybe I should start by taking that notion out, which is quite a trap for being proud. Sure its important, but what's more important is that I realise that PM (ok not only PM but all other ministries) serves EVERYONE else. And we serve with humility and love.

For me? to seek, obey, serve and lastly lead. I guess that's my challenge.

Bummer

In scientific terms, because of conditions X, the activity of enzyme Y is inhibited.


Bummer man....

So what now?

Where do I go from here? What are the steps determined for me? What am I supposed to do with the authority given to me?

All will be revealed in due time I guess. All I can do now is talk to people, to find out more on what to do. That is what I can do for now

10 more days.... and we may get to see L dancing with a tambourine. ha ha ha

And so he hides

He really saved. He really did. He is mighty to save. Nothing short of amazing. And the weekend is gonna get better, despite the hiccups that occur along the way.

I just dont like to see people pissed off... especially people I know. It just makes me sad.... I dont like to see people vexed and frustrated either. It makes me sad too... Like a knife stabbing through my heart. People are made beautiful, and that's the way it should stay.


God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.


Peacemaker... What is it meant to be one? That question's still in my head.

On a random side note, I really am tired. It's been a long day, but it's all good. I have yet to pack even though I'll be going on a weekend getaway in 6 hrs. I can even hardly keep my eyes open....

And so he picks up a can of lite, downs it and listens to the heart pounding trance music. Closing his eyes, his mind just drifts off in the music..... ahhhhh.. the guilty little pleasures.....

The Reverse Cycle

I'm not at the top of the world, but I'm feeling ok nonetheless.

The reverse happens. When most of the people around me are feeling not so gd, I feel all right, and I guess that's part of God's unique timing... I won't say I'm riding high on the waves now. Nevertheless, I think that's the whole point. Even if I'm 'fine and dandy', I gotta look behind and around me. If there are people who are trying to pick themselves up, if there are people who are struggling, there's gotta be someone there to help them up.

'But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!'

There's no point in leading when everyone behind just falls and I dont even turn back. And when I take a tumble? Pick myself up and run to the front again. By His grace of course.

yar bottomline is: It's 24/7. The scary reality is that if I'm not praying, I end up sinning. All the more I should be standing firm and using that armour of mine, honouring others in prayer and in action.

I'm still learning....

yawnz...

In between. To take sides or not. What does it mean to be a peacemaker??

Dawn

It dawned upon me that lack of sleep and depravation leads to bohliaoness
ha ha. rather someone told me

TETIBITE

It's official, the body clock has been programmed at 730am. Regardless of sleeping time, i will be concious at that time every morning, even without the wonderful alarm.

After finishing my patho test this week, as well as my physiol prac which seemed suspiciously like a physics one due to all the vectors and diagrams, I finally went down to the hockey pitch to enjoy myself with a good game of soccer. Played 3 hours straight... and at the end of it all, had a bad cramp in my leg and my whole body ached... But strangely enough, I felt goooood.

Soccer is like the first crush and basketball is like the ex-gf. haha On a random side note, it's funny how guys like to name inanimate objects after female names, especially in the armed forces. I remember that knolls and hills were named after females. e.g Evelyn, Sharon, Amy, Jasmine etc etc. Why? I really have no idea.

I just found out that I have injested close to 4000 calories and 160g fats at the biannual KFC challenge..... Inspired by a lecturer who choked on a piece of KFC whilst eating a 38 piece bucket when he was young, we decided to go for our own challenge. 21 pieces of chicken, 15 pieces of wicked wings, and 8 pieces of chicken breast was what we had. We actually wanted to go for 36 pieces of chicken, and when we told the counter girl that, she panicked! haha apparently there wasnt 36 pieces of chicken in KFC??? Can u believe it? Not enough chicken pieces in KFC? what is the world coming to? What's next? Mac's runs out of fries?? haha so she kindly gave us the above combination of er... chicken parts??? Despite the little setback, we still went about our challenge. I tell u man, looking/eating that amount of oil and fat is enough to put me off KFC for a loooooooooooooooong while. Felt as if i swallowed a bottle full of oil and fats, effectively shortening my life span by 2 days. I had 5 pieces of chicken, 3 wicked wings and 2 pieces of boneless chicken breast (chicken breast is abosolutely gross. DON'T ever try it). We managed to complete the challenge, despite being totally bloated and grossed out.

and it didnt end there..... we ended up going to Freddo's for gelati after that, as part deux of the challenge. Someone suggest buying a whole tub to eat, which we promptly disagreed. yar in the end i chose the most 'un-gelat' combination of green tea and mango. I really wanted to eat roche and durian, but my chicken filled stomach told me no... hahaha.

I'm full, and abit grossed out, and i think i'm developing a fear of KFC. Well... looking forward to next semester's challenge. hahaha.... egg chiffon challenge anyone. That one i will REALLY puke....

Man i think I'm gonna have an early night. FINALLY!

On a side note, I have this quiet confidence that something is going to happen this weekend. Something no less that extraordinary. Somehow I know that there is ALOT of hearts and people that are praying for BAFN and retreat. There really is power in unity of prayer. At IP, we talked about standing firm, putting on the armour of God, and we do it TOGETHER as one, no matter where we are physically. The house of God/Prayer is not a physical one, but its about the people. Be ready to be blown away...

Personally, I think I need to show more love and grace. I remember in MU a few days ago: Notice the kind of people that God brings around you, and you will be humiliated once you realize that this is actually His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him.

Like I said, I learn lessons the hard way. Don't follow me. ha ha

Ok for those people who patiently read the whole thing, thanks! Here's a reward: Inside this entry are cryptic clues to another secret blog of mine where I post all my funny picture and stuff... If you were observant enough, you should have found out. For those of you who just skipped to the end, go back and read it again, for that matter of fact, go read the past entries. sheesh....

kidding kidding... pls dont start reading in b/w the lines.

Sometimes I Wish

That I was really a billionaire genius and the money I had could be put into good use.
And the brains i had could be used to benefit others.

If I could, I would wipe the frown off everyone's faces. Take away their anger, frustrations, pain and their sadness... and put a smile on people, even at the expense of my own...

Utopia? Maybe it is, maybe it is....

The Challenge

Yes the 10 piece challenge is now back and has changed its name to the 38 piece challenge. Brave challengers needed.... ha ha

Anaphylatoxic.. what?

It's funny how so many random thoughts can pass through my mind in the day but at the end of it all, I cant even remember one when i want to blog.

Patho test tomorrow. The thing about this sem is that I've got no tutorials, and I cant really gauge whether I'm behind time/ catching up with my work etc etc... I'm just going at my own pace... and hopefully that pace is all right. ha ha

Yup I should really stop complaining about uni work anymore. It was my choice and really a privillege to come here to study in the first place. Though its tough, I really must look at it from a different perspective. There are much worse things in life. Being a student is still definitely good.

Cooked my own dinner tonight, it's been a while since i touched the stove. Whipping up a dish of fried rice is mildly therapeutic i must say.... Contrary to popular believe: I can cook. Its just that people seldom see me cook. OK... i fess that I cant cook that much wonderful/extravagant stuff, but i'm not that hopeless in a kitchen. i think........ haha i havent had a trademark dish yet... like potatoes & mushrooms or cheesecake or whatever... but maybe one day my cooking skills will evolve till I have one :)

Grrrr.... I should stock up on food, especially on Sunday nights. Isnt pleasant eating crappy dinners on Sunday nights or not even eating at all. man.... haha

Wow....

Sometimes it's just how amazing something simple can turn out so well.
After talking to some people before homecell, by impulse, I took up leading BS because i thought they needed some help.

It ended up with a fruitful time of sharing. It was wonderful to see that happen. I was never ever good at words/ leading BS, but somehow everyone contributed questions and comments. It went pretty off tangent, but in an absolutely gd way. I definitely learnt a thing or two at the BS and i'm pretty sure, a few other people gained something out of it that well. To cap it all off by having a newcomer said that she wants to use our 'style' of bible study/sharing for her school's fellowship really made me go... WOW. I could just only thank Him there and then.

To give my '5 Loaves and 2 Fishes' with a right heart. To serve with a right attitude and really have faith that God will move and do His work. How great is He.

Shy That Way

Home is where the heart is... or the bed, or it could be where your family is also. Maybe my heart is already up there. and where I am now really (Earth) is temporary. If i really could have that mindset. hehz


You know you're stunning
absolutely stunning
but you're always running
and I'll catch up to you
the way you keep your distance
keeping my interest, keeping it persistent.


"yeah well you know, I'm shy that way
'yar I'm shy that way'

“God will help us when we cannot walk, and He will help us when we find it hard to walk, but He cannot help us if we will not walk.” Even though you fall, you must try again. Your Father holds you by the hand.

It's funny how sometimes I forget the promises I made to myself a few years ago.
And I intend to keep them.

Gasp

Apparently my affair with amino acids last semester has spilled over to the current one.

My 'dearest' Alanine can actually be transformed by some process to form Pyruvate (transamination), which I forsee will be the source of my headaches and endless nights this semester...



Onto other random stuff. I dont know why, but decided to put a pic of Saotome Ranma on this post. I remembered I used to watch this anime at 600 am every morning before I left for school. Dont ask me what time I used to wake up to catch a bus. It's a blessing to live near to uni now! okay... it isnt exactly like 5 min near, but a 15 minute walk everyday aint that bad. Anyway... this is just a funny anime character in a weird way. This guy turns into a girl when splashed with cold water, and turns back to a guy when splashed with hot water. Yup, its totally out of this world, but then again, its the japanese I'm talking about here.

Onto other random stuff to ponder over: There are really so many others that do not have the opportunities that I have. I am really blessed and thankful. People trapped in the seemingly invisible 'class' system in which the government so vehemently denies. Its true that some people even when given the ideal opportunities, squander it and waste it. But I still think that there are definitely people out there who are so in need of hope and opportunity.

'God only helps those who help themselves.' Such a phrase that is used so often. Definitely a controversial one. I'll reserve my comments to myself... ha ha


Next year seems so near, yet so far away. No turning back, No regrets (:

Rain

It's supposed to be spring, yet its raining and its cold outside, as though winter decided to hang around for a little longer.

One of the minus points of being taller than average: I could never share an umbrella with someone. The other person would just as wet. A jumper with a hoodie would suffice for me. Hehz

Sometimes I just feel like being a toy soldier. Like those you see in movies e.g 'Universal Soldier' or 'Terminator' etc etc... A soldier whose whole life is about accepting orders regardless of circumstances. His whole purpose in life (if this is considered a life) is just to complete tasks handed out to him.

'Mission Accepted'
'Mission Accomplished'

A task arrives, the task is completed. Receive and execute without question, without complaints, without an alternative choice. It would be a life without free will. Defintely a life with direction i.e to accomplish the mission, without the hassle of choices, emotions, other factors at all.... It would be nice wouldnt it? .....


NOT.


I guess that's the whole beauty of life itself. Be it whether you're an atheist or a God believing person, the beauty of life is free will. The freedom to make decisions, to make choices, to determine the paths we take. Some people choose to base their choices on what they believe in, others make decisions based on themselves. Sometimes we make bad ones, sometimes we make good ones. We struggle with making choices because we all fear making the wrong decisions. We all contemplate and anticipate the consequences it will have on us and the people around us.

That's life. The beauty of it is in that we get to choose.

Am I idealistic? Or just too simple minded for my own good?? maybe....

My heart can plan where I want to go or end up. But at the end of the day, its the Lord that determines each step I take and I choose to take the step he's given me. Maybe I wont end up where I would have wanted/wished to be. Maybe my ambitions and aspirations will take a U-turn. haha who knows?

We talk about a desert. I admit I'm wandering in it, BUT I AM SURE beyond any shadow of a doubt that I AM NOT LOST. The pillar of fire leads me by day, and the cloud by night.

The D-Word

Then keep paying attention to the Source, and God will either take you around the obstacle or remove it. The river of the Spirit of God overcomes all obstacles. Never focus your eyes on the obstacle or the difficulty. The obstacle will be a matter of total indifference to the river that will flow steadily through you if you will simply remember to stay focused on the Source. Never allow anything to come between you and Jesus Christ— not emotion nor experience— nothing must keep you from the one great sovereign Source.

unscrambled thoughts

Confession of a Madman:
address the title of that madman that lives in the same realm.

leave a mark if stumbled upon
much appreciated.

Through it all, I've learnt that it's

Not to smile and say everything's fine, BUT

to smile and say: 'After all, He's the one who can make the impossible possible'

Beat this! English maiden/asian assassin!

hehz

IRON MAN??? guess this is another test as accurate as me liking cheerleaders and glamourinas

First Strike

It's begun... Wait, but it's been happening all the while. That seemingly endless battle.

Sometimes, I can only be ashamed of myself, that I'm the one cowering in fear and running away but.... I must stand firm. I might have been tripped, but it doesnt mean that I'll stay down. My place is at the front, not in hiding. At the front where everyone else is.... and when people trip, I have to help them up. There is a role I must accept humbly with faith and trust...

The armour is heavy, pick it up and wear it.
Raise up your shield.
Draw your sword.

Lies, fears, wickedness, insecurity.... BEGONE FROM ME. There are things worth fighting for... like My purity.

To live is Christ and to die is gain.

'It gets cold when it rains in here...'

And when there is doubt and uncertainty, it rains. The sound of the rain drowns out all sound. I shout, but no one hears me....

Pure Snow

Hmmmm what does it mean by pure snow? then again I've never seen real snow before. Yup I know I'm sad, but it doesnt snow here in the City of Melbourne. Hail, maybe... but no snow. ha

Not one of His promises failed. It's just simple things like that... that really encourage me. Ha I dont know... I'm encouraged by simple things: a smile by someone, people praying for each other, people sharing, people making an effort.

Maybe that's the more guy part of me? A real guy friendship to me: doesnt mean SOLELY about joking, having fun, hanging out. That's all good. Rather it's the silent confidence in each other that the other person will back you up when you need help. Ok it's just my own skewed opinion based on the way I was brought up/ 2 yrs in the ____.

MOC/POS? haha I'm really honoured when some people think of me that way. I'm still working on alot of things too... To really be PURE in everything, in speech, thought, actions...

'What maketh a man is not what others say about him, but rather what he says about others.'

Praise Him!

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1. Meekness
2. Secure
3. Forgiving
4. Doesnt repay evil for evil
5. Avoids Strife
6. Avoids Harsh Language
7. Loves the Word of God
8. Treats women with Purity
9. Slave to Jesus, and doesnt anything else to ENSLAVE HIM

WIP... yup definitely. I will walk and walk... through the valleys and the mountains, until one day I see him face to face

Mass Murderer

Victory is guaranteed.
Victory doesnt belong to me, it belongs to Him

Obedience is a must. In fact, immediate obedience is a must.

Joshua seemed like a fanatically vicious mass murderer, moving from one tribe to another in lightning speeds, totally eradicating the enemy. Victory was already guaranteed but was such an extent of viciousness needed???

Taking it to a present day context: Christ already has the victory over sin. But is our heart in tune with God? God loathes the sinful nature, He cant stand the sight of sin. Am I as fervent as Joshua in obeying the commands of the Lord? To really put to death my own sinful nature? To submit to God's will? Am I as passionate about my own purity and holiness????

Maybe I need a streak of viciousness... ha ha just kidding...