Abyss

Climb, climb, climb.... Will I ever climb out of this pit if I keep sinning?
Everybody's searching for intimacy...and sin really hinders it.

Sin makes me feel extremely disgusted at myself. And the perfectionist side of me starts to blame myself. An endless cycle? I think not, but sometimes it seems so. Sometimes i look around... am i the only one struggling with it?? People like to talk and share about their victories, but what about when they fail/fall??? This isnt even about struggling, it's about plain blatant failing.

The only thing I know is that on my own strength, I really cant even do anything right. Even living day to day.


Blessed are those who ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord.
Blessed are those keep his statutes, and seek Him with all their hearts.
They do nothing wrong, they walk in his ways.
You have laid down precepts, that are to be fully obeyed.
Oh that my ways were steadfast, in obeying your decrees!
That I will not be put to shame, when i consider all your commands.
I will praise you with and upright heart, as i learn your righteous laws.
I will obey your decress, do not utterly forsake me.

Can this ever truly be my Psalm one day?


On to something else:

So what shall I put in the column for my religion? The beach? The sun? Sleep? Used to go to church regularly as a child but have stopped ever since. So in that case shall I consider myself a Christian? I do believe in a god out there but which is the right one? Definitely wouldn’t consider Master Yoda the one.

A touch of humour, but also with a tinge of sadness. Some questions are better left unasked....