UROP or not?

UROP applications are open! I've heard so much about it and I am just anxious to apply for it. But I don't know even know whether i stand a chance to get in at all. There are so many science students out there who are better than me academically and more knowledgeable. I look at my CV (or the lack of it) and think who in this world will have the right mind to hire me?

I really need to pray about this.

Besides that, i am swarmed with work this semester. Having a 25 pt core subject isnt very pleasant. Furthermore, the subject spans from topics such as biochemistry to cellular biology to immuno. It drives me crazy just trying to grasp and comprehend the vastness of what i am learning. Despite that i still see the beauty of science each time I listen to lectures or read the text. It's just interesting to see how perfectly the body works, even up to the molecular level. The intricacies of each cell in the human body. Sometimes i wonder how people can say that something so beautiful and complex such as the human body occured only by a random chance.

Onto another subject, genetics. I sometimes wonder whether I should even do genetics. I have my reasons for doing genetics. Sometimes i wonder does too much knowledge do me harm. I'd rather not have known some facts that i have discovered over the years. Why am I doing genetics? To find out more? Maybe i have found out more than i have wanted to. "Sins of the father"; "being selected against"; Sometimes these thoughts just constantly plague me.

Though i fear for my health, though my future is uncertain, though my questions are unanswered, i'll always know that God is beyond all science, plausible rationalization and all my self doubts and fear.

With every living breath, i will look unto Him.

Hmmm i am thankful for my new, okay maybe not so new cell group. From being in one of the smallest cells last year, I have been thrown into the deep end of the pool again. (It always happens to me. haha) Now my cell is big to say the least with 20+ people. I am thankful for everyone there and i believe that though there may be challenges ahead, things will work out for the better somehow. I have hypothesized that the large numbers are due to the amount of pretty people in the cell. hahaha.

Seriously, Nigel and Chris are just awesome. Their passion for Christ and the fellow man is just contagious sometimes. There's no airs with people like Debs and Tian2. Saying Krystin is knowledgeble is an understatement. Listening to Waihong just inspires me and provokes my thoughts. And there's so many other people that i've yet to know. Sometimes i wonder why am I there. I am really blessed with all this people around me.

Woot been awhile since i blogged this much. Must be the stress accumulating in me with no available outlet. Haven't played any sport this week and there's this test coming up on Tuesday.

Ah nevertheless, its good to be alive.