In Limbo

Have u ever felt this way?

That you are in a place so familiar... yet you dont feel like you belong there at all. Like you are stuck in twilight zone. I know this place so well but i don't belong here at all. That's what I felt this whole morning when i returned to 42. The place is just a shadow of its former self. The place was literally turned inside out. Lion Coy is no longer Lion Coy... gone are the colourful walls. The whole battalion looks like a hospital now. Walls painted in white, beige and the dullest colours you can ever find. And the place is feeling like a mental hospital.

I'm grateful that i'm a student now. After just a day of being a soldier again, i felt like one whole clusters of brain cells just died. You just become more stupid in army. There is mental deteoriation occuring in camp nowadays.

I went back to camp early in the morning to report and they were surprised that i turned up and didnt even know what to do with me. I am sort of like a Pseudo Soldier now. Enlisted but still with my pink IC, not that i want my 11B back of course. I'm like this passing ghost that exists in camp only this month. Not that im complaining but it really bores the crap out of me. I understand why now i hated it so much back then. My mind just took a backward step. Rotting away in camp. Had lunch at 1100am after that i rotted in bunk. Furthermore most of the things I get to do in army is just a chore, an irritation, not much thinking required. That is why so many army people use their brain cells to think of how to malinger and escape the system. Work in army is just literally called "shit work" in hokkien. You know how army commercials always potray a very fun and exciting picture of army? That's fake. Period. Not the best way to spend my holidays... ARGH

Bottomline: I HATE THE SAF haha